Overcoming Church Abuse:
5 Steps to Meaningful Change and Healing
This self-paced course is 100% free with no upgrades, tiers, or memberships. It includes short texts, videos, and downloadable interactive worksheets. It was designed to accommodate the brain fog and struggles with attention span that many trauma survivors experience. Please find the modules of this healing course below.
If you are questioning whether you have been the victim of religious abuse, please download the Religious Abuse Checklist. It lists signs and examples of religious abuse. I recommend trusting your intuition. You know what you have been through. However, if you are seeking clarity, the checklist may be helpful. The checklist is not exhaustive. If you don't find your specific situation in it, that doesn't invalidate your experience.
While working through the course, if you feel overwhelmed or triggered, consider taking a break, getting some rest, and engaging in some self-care. This isn't easy work, and it is important to take care of yourself. I'm glad that you are here.
Module 1: Unravel Toxic Theology
Religious beliefs and theories can be toxic when they lead to harm. The harm can be physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, or emotional. Teachings that are fear and shame-based, authoritarian, patriarchal, oppressive, or controlling can easily lead to abuse or be used as justifications for harm. Toxic religious beliefs can lead to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Unraveling toxic theology, doctrine, and beliefs is necessary for healing. And it will look different for each person.
To continue, you can watch this video. Then, download and complete this interactive worksheet. It is designed to help you unpack toxic theology.
Module 2: Go No Contact With High-Control Religion
The purpose of going no contact is to break cycles of abuse and to protect your peace. It involves cutting off all lines of communication. No contact can be complicated if we are escaping a high-control religion or a cult group. We don’t heal in the same place where we are harmed. This is why going no contact is so important. Oftentimes, all our close family and friends are a part of the same group. They may not respond well to you breaking away from them. It may be difficult to understand the world around us after being controlled for so long. No contact is hard, but the benefits outweigh the hurt.
To continue, you can watch this video. Then, download and complete this worksheet. It is designed to help you determine if going no-contact is right for you.
Module 3: Don't Replace Mental Healthcare With Church Counseling
Abuse and Trauma have an impact on our mental health. This is why therapy and other forms of mental healthcare are so important. In many religious church circles, victims are directed back into pastoral counseling, church counseling, or other forms of religious counseling. Church and other religious counselors aren’t required to have the licensing and credentials that mental health professionals have. And they often promote the same spiritual beliefs or theories that led you to be harmed in the first place. Church counseling can be another way to silence victims and keep the matter within the church.
To continue, you can watch this video. Then, download and complete this worksheet if you would like to start therapy or find a therapist who is better suited to your needs. It is designed to help you narrow down your options.
Module 4: Befriend Being Disliked and Misunderstood
It is painful to be disliked or misunderstood. Especially if the people who no longer accept or understand you are people you were once close to or still love. We can overstay harmful situations and toxic relationships because we don’t want to be rejected, or we are afraid to be alone. Standing up for what’s right is never easy. It always comes at a price. But embracing rejection can become one of the most powerful things we ever do. Otherwise, we may leave one toxic group only to join another toxic group. Once we stop fearing being disliked and misunderstood, we become unstoppable.
To continue, you can watch this video. Then, download and complete this worksheet. It is designed to help you process the grief of loneliness and rejection after surviving religious abuse.
Module 5: Carve Your Own Path
Many people who survive religious abuse and a high-control religion find themselves living what feels like someone else’s life. One of the many unfortunate legacies of religious abuse is that survivors find themselves in a life that doesn’t fit their personality or purpose. As survivors, we have been well-trained to submit and conform to someone else’s agenda. We were prescribed a role that was never meant for us. But we find true joy and healing when we become the person we were meant to be. When we show up as our true selves, we find the right friends, partners, and opportunities. We don’t need anyone’s permission to be our true selves!
To continue, you can watch this video. Then, download and complete this worksheet. It is designed to help you find your true self and realign with your purpose.
Congratulations!
You Completed the Course!
You should be proud of yourself! This isn't easy work. You had the courage to face the pain that most people try to avoid. I hope that this course has been beneficial to you.
If you would like to support my work, please consider shopping for my eBooks and following me on social media. Thank you!
Your partner in healing,
Vijji Michael
6 Months to Change Your Life!
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